‘I think my girlfriend hates me – she bonked strangers behind racecourse bogs’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is shattered after a disastrous day at the races

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

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I puked into my top hat

I’ve been warned that my girlfriend hates my guts, that she only stays with me because I own a flat, earn a decent salary and am well endowed…

Apparently, she sneers at me with barely concealed loathing when I’m looking the other way.

I’m struggling to get my head around this. Does my beautiful girl – the one who swears she loves me – secretly loathe me?

Am I living with the world’s greatest actress?

The person who says I need to watch my back is my oldest pal. She and I grew up together on the same estate. We went to local schools, and I trust her with my life. She says she’s been watching my girl from afar at parties and social events and that I can’t trust her twinkly smile and sweet personality because it’s all fake.

Recently a whole gang of us went to the races. I admit it, I drank too much and was out of it. My pal claims that my girl was drinking fizz with other guys and left me slumped in a corner of the hospitality tent. Apparently, she took cash from my wallet for bets and even snapped humiliating pics of me being sick into my top hat to share with her friends.

My pal insists that, at one point, she disappeared off with TWO guys and was mucking around behind the toilets in the car park. I don’t know what she was up to but I think I can guess…

Thankfully my pal was there to scoop me up and get me home. My girlfriend didn’t rock up until the next day and looked as rough as old socks.

The thing is that my pal has no designs on me. She’s happily settled with her own girlfriend, but she says she can’t stand by and ignore what she’s seeing.

What’s going on?

JANE SAYS: I can’t imagine it was much fun for your girlfriend seeing you drunk, slumped in a corner during a day out to the races. Do you often act like that? Do you have a problem with alcohol and controlling yourself in general?

How can your girl respect you if there isn’t much to respect? Think about it.

I understand that you trust your old pal and she feels she must tell you what she’s seeing, but could she be stirring out of jealousy or sheer devilment? Maybe she does have a partner of her own, but she could still be envious or unhealthily invested in your private life, especially if you have money and clout.

The person you should be talking to is your girlfriend.

You need to sit her down and, firstly, apologise for your recent behaviour. Then ask her to explain where she sees your relationship headed. Does she love and respect you? Does she mess around with other blokes? Is it true that she was spotted behind the car park toilets with two other guys?

At least give her a chance to have her say and answer back. Can you and she start again on a new footing? Should you be seeing less of your pal? Just asking…

Ultimately, you are an adult and need to make up your own mind about the people around you.

Stubborn bloke snubs my kids

My new man refuses to have anything to do with my children (16, 18 and 19).

He won’t have them in his house, agree to meet them on neutral territory or even speak to them on the phone. They’re clever and lovely and live with their dad (my ex). This stance upsets me greatly. I’ve tried to organise meals, but my bloke gets angry and tells me to back off.

A mutual friend describes him as the most stubborn man she’s ever met. How do I make him see that he’s missing out by not being more open hearted?

JANE SAYS: Is your partner willing to explain to you why he feels like this? Point out that your relationship is still relatively new and you need to know what’s going on and where you stand.

In an ideal world, it would be great if you could create a healthy, blended family but you can’t force anything. Ultimately, only you can decide if you can stay with a man who has no love or time for your own flesh and blood. Personally, I think you should ditch him without a backward glance. He sounds controlling, manipulative and unpleasant to me. Never feel you must choose between your children and a partner.

Stuffed by feeder friend

My friend is a feeder.

Any time we visit her she lays on a spread fit for a Queen. From topping up my glass to plonking food on my plate, she is overly generous and won’t take ‘no’ for an answer but it’s too much. Frequently I leave her house at night feeling so stuffed I can’t sleep. Help.

JANE SAYS: Your friend clearly shows love through providing food, but you can’t allow yourself to be her project. I’m sure she enjoys trying out new recipes but saying “No thank you’ isn’t rude. You need to be firm about when you’re done and be prepared to put down your knife and fork when you’ve had enough. Be prepared for her the next time you visit. What about a doggy bag for the next day instead?