The Grand Tour star Jeremy Clarkson has said he has found running his very own pub as being the biggest challenger of his career, even hard than tackling thought corners of a race track or cleaning up on a farm
Jeremy Clarkson has claimed that running a pub is the hardest job he has ever done.
The ex-Top Gear host whined that being landlord of his boozer The Farmer’s Dog creates a huge number of challenges.
His watering hole has suffered a string of setbacks including a cyber attack last week which cost him £27,000.
Jeremy, 65, said: “Running a pub is harder than eating one. It’s harder than anything. Even farming.
“This is why one pub in the UK is closing every day at the moment.
“It’s hard enough dealing with all the vomit and the faeces and the fights, but when you factor in the local authority, and taxation, and the government’s exciting new laws on workers’ rights, it becomes nigh-on impossible to stay sane.”
His rant came after Hollywood legend Rupert Everett, 66, teamed up with 30 people from the village of Enford, Wilts, in a bid to keep their local pub open.
Jeremy said: “Rupert should be aware that some aspects of pub ownership do cause a landlord’s shoulders to sag a bit.
“And I’m not talking about the ludicrous taxes that publicans have to pay, or the difficulties of finding staff, or the issues with national insurance.
“For example: a lady came to my pub recently and, after enjoying several glasses of our wonderful Hedgerow cider, had a stumble and then tripped over her hair extensions, which caused her to vomit explosively into her own cleavage.
“Rupert probably isn’t ready for that situation, and he certainly won’t be prepared for what happened next. She fished handfuls of the sick from her bra and then passed it to our manageress.”
The Clarkson’s Farm star added: “Or how about this one? A little girl in the garden became a bit upset because a little boy from the next table had nicked one of the pine cones she was using to build a castle.
“History doesn’t relate what happened next, but whatever it was, the two fathers decided that the only solution was to try to strangle each other.”
Clarkson also said he would like to ban customers with food intolerances but admitted it would be “commercial suicide”.
Recent research warned that boozers face being blitzed by 2035.
Campaigners said watering holes will serve their last orders in a decade unless the public do more to support their local.
Insurance firm Simply Business forecasted last year that overall 132,945 small businesses on UK high streets will be extinct in 15 years.
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