Torode host says therapy has allowed him to be ‘real’, five months after he was sacked by the BBC following a complaint he had used racist language, which he denies
John Torode has opened up on an ‘unexpected and brutal life change’ since being axed as MasterChef host. The 60-year-old is in therapy as he deals with the grief of being sacked from the BBC show he fronted for 21 years.
Torode was sacked by the BBC five months ago after a complaint that he had used racist language during production of MasterChef, which he denies. The complaint was upheld as part of an inquiry into separate allegations against co-host Gregg Wallace, which he also denied.
Since then, Torode has travelled thousands of miles and spent time away from wife Lisa Faulkner as he reflects on the end of his MasterChef career, as well as undergoing therapy.
Writing in his online newsletter A View From The Fridge, he said: “Therapy over the past few months has entitled me to no longer ‘be brave’ but instead be real.
“Fear is the instinct that keeps us alive, but should grief and fear meet each other I wonder how much damage it can do when we decide to shut it away, shut it down and not let it flow as it should.”
He added: “I have tried to set myself a schedule to write a new newsletter each week, finding a rhythm, in my tumultuous physical, illogical and physiological state of mind, has not been easy.
“What is becoming easier is being able to talk and to vocalise how I feel as I come to terms with the past five months and the impact it has had.
“Life has changed for ever for me and for those close to me. There is no sympathy searching here, just honesty.”
Torode said writing the newsletter was helping him to process the change, adding: “Each newsletter, I get a little braver. Over the past few months, I have been honest, following on from what was a very unexpected and brutal life change.
“So, thank you for supporting my newsletter and allowing me to get it out.”
Torode recently made a work trip to Qatar, saying he had travelled 6,210 miles in the past 10 days and enjoyed swimming in the sea — but missed wife Lisa Faulkner and their schnauzer Rory.
He added: “Being away from Lisa has meant facing my grief alone and it has been cathartic but at times really tough.
“This week I can proudly say that I have allowed the true hurt and sadness to flow through me without resistance.
“Usually, being so positive and of a mind that dictates ‘just get on with it’. Sitting quietly letting my true feeling be felt rather than putting them into exile has been a revelation.”
Torode and his wife are presenting John and Lisa’s Christmas Kitchen on ITV1 and ITVX.
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